Joseph Little Story

Movie Outing on 23/01/2010

2010-01-24T12:03:00.002+08:00

"Paranormal Activity" at 11.30am and "Sherlock Holmes" at 1.40pm was the original plan of an eventful and pleasant day for me.. I've been missing out on numerous sets of movies that I've planned to watch, always due to my work and study, and of cause, failure to find anyone to watch with me. But, that was not the case yesterday, as I had watched two movies with the "Fan Xu"... Anyway, the original plan was scrapped and jeopardized by the much-hatred-urban-city Syndrome = Traffic Jam... It took me more than double the time required, if it is not jam, to reach Mid-Valley.. Thus, we were late and had to adjust our plan to "Paranormal Activity" at 1.30pm and "Tooth Fairy" at 4.30pm...

Prior to the showing of "Paranormal Activity", we went to had our yummy-yummy lunch at Sushi King. We had a little chat after the lunch, and at 1.30pm, here we go, the "Paranormal Activity"~~ The movie adopted the documentary filming style and it made me super D.I.Z.Z.Y... apparently, i had to go to the W.C and, you know, there's only one way to soothe the dizzyness, that is to v*m*t... The movie is not that frightening but it did have a reasonable impact, especially if we imagine when we are sleeping and our blanket was flipped by an unknown force.

It was about 3p.m when the movie ends, another 1 and half hour before our next show begun... so, me and the "fan xu" decided to window-shop, which eventually, ends up that the "fan xu" bought a cloth.. The cloth WAS supposingly for her sister, but, you know gals, especially when they are obsessed with the cloth, the original idea was just wiped out completely~~ oh ya, i met with my Shy-Shy Jie while shopping... It's been quite a while that I met with her ler... I'm wondering when is she gonna get married leh??

At 4.30pm, we were sitting in the cinema and the show started... Apparently, the movie isn't that astonishing nor entertaining as I was expected... "Game Plan" seemed to me, a better movie that the tooth fairy.. we were both got tired and hungry even before the show was finished.. and we've decided to go for dinner as soon as possible after the movie finished~~

We went to Cheras to have a western style dinner, in which I introduced the famous Cheese Fondue (fountain, i supposed), to the "fan xu".. we ordered a set of Fondue Chicken and a set of Fish N' Chips.. but we regretted for being too greedy coz we both were so full and couldn't finish the food... FOr that reason, I would like to apologize to people who are suffering from hunger.. we've tried our very best to finish the food.. but we just couldn't do so... I sent "fan xu" back after the dinner and proceeded to my next agenda - Gathering with Primary SChoolmates..

The gathering was a merry one, as we havent met for about two months and we got plenty to talk about.. but, i was just too tired after all i've had in the noon, and so, I left earlier.. I must apologize to my frens for going home so early too~~ I'm looking forward to our next session ya~~ hope that i will not be that tired after all~~

Special thanks to Fan Xu for accompanying me for the day~~ and Special thanks to Sook May for organizing the meeting~~ ^^

One Minute Manager

2010-01-13T22:09:00.004+08:00

I have just recently, to be exact, 5 minutes ago, finished reading a book entitled <> written by Kenneth Blanchard and Spencer Johnson. It is a book that I am asked to present, along with two of my coursemates, for one of my masters course, Management Theory and Practice. The book is recommended by our lovely lecturer, Prof. Bill, a visiting prof. from the George Washington University. A great man with great knowledge, and yet humble and enthusiastic, who is willing to spend his precious time in Malaysia to share his knowledge with us.

Coming back to the book again, it is a story of a young man who is keen to learn the best practice to be a GOOD manager. But he couldn't find any of the managers that he interviewed gave him satisfying answer. On a fortunate occasion, he managed to meet the "One Minute Manager" who runs one of the best organization in the country. To his suprise, he learnt that the Best way to be a successful manager is through the SIMPLEST method, that is to be an HONEST and SINCERE manager.

The One Minute Manager shared with the young man his precious and effective management secrets, which are the One Minute Goal, the One Minute Praising, and the One Minute Reprimand. The concept is simple, that is (1) to let the staffs know up front the goals that the manager is asking from the staffs, record them down in simple way and shall not be more than 250 words!, (2) to catch the staffs doing the RIGHT things and appraisals shall come immediately!, and finally (3) to reprimand the staff immediately, with the support of concrete facts, once any misbehaviour is spotted. Then deal with the MISBEHAVIOUR of the staff rather than the person!! To wrap up the reprimand, praisings must follow in order to let the staffs that the manager is not dealing with the PERSON and how much the manager care about the staffs.

The concepts seem simple, but it is hard to be practiced in real life. Is there any manager who is truly a ONE MINUTE MANAGER? The concepts are encouraging, but tend to be too simplyfied. Nevertheless, it is a good book that I would suggest to my friends. It doesn't take long to read, and I did it within 2 hrs. I am pretty sure that you will enjoy the book~~

p.s: taking masters and working simultaneously is tough~~

The Sentimental Year-End

2010-01-09T21:51:00.003+08:00

The end of the year and early of the year is a period which has the most festive holidays. "Merry X'mas and Happy New Year" is the most mentioned greetings in the period spanning from, at least if not earlier, 24th Dec to 1st Jan. Everyone will be looking forward to spend the intimate time with their love ones, i.e. families, partners, friends and colleagues (though it is less likely that "colleagues" will be the popular choice).

On the other hand, looking into the calendar, it is not hard to find that Chinese New Year and Valentines Day are partnering with each other, at least for year 2010. Coincide with these two important dates is my birthday which is at the end of January.

It should be the most cherry and merry period for, barring from those who have to work during that period, most people. I am, however, never really have the luxury of enjoying that, at least not since 2007, happy moment. It would be harsh to say that I sufferred during that period given my faith as a Christian. Nevertheless, at least I feel that lonely and sadness were lurking around me after attending X'mas service. The sorry sense of loneliness and deep agony creep slowly into my saddened heart.

I felt that it is not appropriate to elaborate in detail on how that would happen. All I could say is that I have never got the chance to celebrate all the abovementioned, supposingly cherry and merry days, with the one and only person I love. At least, it is not on the eve nor the exact day of these dates. Seeing and hearing others celebrating reinforces the God-damn feeling that I do not like! (sorry for being rude here)

I thought all this could be solved, once and for all, when I finally decided to put a stop on all this non-sense. I thought, at least I tried, I would have a better mood to celebrate these important days this year. But, to no avail, the past memory keep haunting me occasionally. I have had a torrid time to get rid of it, and worst still, it is continuing.

In order to get rid of all these, I have decided to keep myself busy and occupy every possible free time with all sorts of things. I thought that further studying while working could be the best solution as it is tiring and will occupy almost 50% of my time, while the other is for resting (40%) and amusement (10%). I must admit, though sad to say, that I have lost my confident in getting involved in any relationship. At least, that seems to be current state of play in my mind. I am just not encouraged enough to take the 1st step, fearing that I would eventually end up in another bad relationship. So, I must say sorry to my admirers, though I doubt there is any, that I am just not available at the moment. Not least till I am encouraged and confident to step back into the business again.

p.s.: I have stopped updating my blog for quite some time because I just do not know what I should write. My writing inspiration has just left me in vain for the past half year. I would like to apologize to my friends and readers because I have failed to honour my promise.

A little story of J (part 1) - a trully "unforgetable" experience

2009-06-08T20:24:00.009+08:00

In this blog entry, I would like to share a little story of a young boy named J, from his birth to his youth... I hope that this blog entry will be able to enlighten your day and provide food for thought for every frens of mine (although not many people viewing my blog >.<)...

Once upon a time, in a place called Taman Miharja, there lived a "Tong" family. A family of five members, the father; the mother; the daughther; the son; but they are not the main character of this blog though... >.< The main character of the story is the youngest member of the Tong family, J... Ever since the day J was born, he is destined to be a hyperactive and excel in socialize ... When he was five years old (I assumed, coz i'd forgotten the exact age), he had an Indian (perhaps an Indonesian) fren who's living opposite of his "kampung" house (village house)... The Indian boy's father worked as a site worker... The Indian boy's family is so accidentantly staying opposite of J's house because they are staying in the workers hostel which is located next to the site... By that time, J can only speaks in Cantonese, not even Mandarin; of coz, he had never learnt to speak in Bahasa Malaysia, nor Bahasa Tamil... Suprisingly, despite the communication lag, J could still communicate very well with the Indian boy...
Since then, the Indian boy has been the best fren for J... J would spend almost the entire afternoon staying at the Indian boy's house to play... Although they both did not share the same language, and yet, they managed to come out with a set of "advanced" communication code: the "body language" and "eye contact"... Wait, wait, now let us deviate from the story for a while... However, there's 1 question i wished to raise: I really cant recall how J could communicate with the Indian boy and how he did that... can any1 please help to solve this mysterious puzzle??
Ok, now let us continue with the story, J was playing some kind of "masak-masak" with the Indian boy... and the Indian boy's mom came and said something that J had never heard of in his entire life!! (5 years old!!!) Although J never understood what the aunty was saying, but he could guessed it out.. It is done through a very sophisticated and thorough analysis (the aunty was pointing at the clock which shows 12:30pm and put another hand on her stomach, rubbing it)... and J's analysis was: "The aunty, was saying: "it is lunch time now, r u hungry? do u want to eat something"... " so, J looked at his stomach, and started to feel the hunger spreading through his nerves in haste... Thus, J knocked his head without second thought and followed the aunty to the kitchen...
J was sitting at the dinning table and "communicating" (I used "communicate" coz J wasnt talking in language that the Indian boy understand and vice versa; therefore "speaking", "talking" and "chatting" are not applicable) with the Indian boy... Just few moments later, J smelled something strong and nice, that he has never ever smelled in his entire life (once again, it's 5 years old!!!)... the dish was serve with a yellowish sauce and few beans on top of it and some vegetables beneath it... J was so curious of what the dish is and is so eager to taste the dish, coz the dish smelled reallllly NICE~~ so, once the rice was served and placed in front of J, immediately he tooked the spoon and "digged" deep into the dish, pouring all the sauces into his rice... once the rice was filled with the yellowish sauce, he felt so great and proud... Finally, he could started to taste the smelled-good-dish...
Then, J put the spoon, fully-filled with rice and the beans with the sauce, into his tiny mouth... He chewed the food, tasted it, and.............. he cried!!!! because he was eating "dal" (a kind of curry dish) cooked with chillies... It was so so so so so dXmn (censored) spicy... And now, he finally tasted the infamous curry which tops the most edible food chart in UK... However, this was a reallllly painful experience... An experience that gained through "blood and sweat"...

So... that is a little story of J.. A story that showed how he befriend with a guy of different ethnic and his 1st time experience of eating curry... hope that this could enlighten the readers' day, and be able to put a smile back on your lovely face...

p.s the moral of story is.........

curry is really spicy~~ ^^ (kidding)
Do not simply eat things that you never tried... (this is real)

specially dedicated to "U noe" xiao shou coz I read ur blog and knew that u are kinda geram with certain things... hope that this could make u smile lar.. ^^

I wonder what the Indian boy is doing right now, and wish to see him again.. Although I do not know your whereabout, but I sincerely wish you all the best in everything you do, take care, my pal.. God bless ya~~

今天只做一件事

2009-05-26T12:51:00.004+08:00

发觉这世界永远太少空间
因此花一天支配一切时间
发觉这世界永远太晒心机
因此花一天思索一切道理

消失太快捉得到太少
因此花一天感觉一切是爱
茫茫人海或有几多漂泊与淹盖
人人寻找爱或有几多争斗与比赛
越觉得剩低几多未变的爱

慢慢地合作新诗静静地同床午睡
再发现岁月换来几次厌闷几多亲爱
有各样劫灾和充满意外
因此我要努力继续能恋爱

慢慢地迈向听朝静静地怀念昨日
再决定今天只要相信爱
叫皱纹散开唤青春归来
因此我喜欢花一天感觉一切是爱

发觉这世界永远太少深刻
因此花一天改变一切习惯
发觉这世界永远太多跷蹊
因此花一天拥有一切运气

消失太快捉得到太少
因此花一天感觉一切是爱
茫茫人海或有几多漂泊与淹盖
人人寻找爱或有几多争斗与比赛
越觉得剩低几多未变的爱

慢慢地合唱K歌静静地同游网上
再发现岁月换来几次厌闷几多亲爱
有各样劫灾和充满意外
因此我要努力继续能恋爱

慢慢地迈向听朝静静地怀念昨日
再决定今天只要相信爱
叫皱纹散开唤青春归来
因此我喜欢花一天感觉一切是爱

喜欢花一天跟你一切是爱

This is a new song by Eason Chan in his brand new album, "H3M"... I like this song very much... The rythem is nice and the lyrics are meaningful... Here is some food for thought for my dear frens:

how long have u never sit down and talk with ur families? When was the last time u went to shopping with ur families or ur loved one? When was the last time u sat alone and listen to music, without thinking about ur job or studies? Had u missed out on the most beautiful things that happened just around u?

Now, it's time to medidate and appreciate the beauty of the nature... ^^

An afterthought of an ordinary rainy day..

2009-05-16T15:27:00.004+08:00

Tit-tat... Tit-tat...
The raindrops are gently hitting the surface of earth. They are moisturizing the mother of nature, reenergize the already tired and dried-up soil... GalGal, my beloved puppy, is sitting beside me in the room. She's afraid of the lightning and rain... Wat a cute puppy she is... On the other hand, i'm drinking a cup of hot coffee, the world most amazing drink and my most favourite drink~~

On this rainy day, I'm thinking about my past and my future... I was deeply distressed for the passed whole month... It all begun when I was in love with a person whom I should not fall into... Something urgent happened 2 weeks ago... It disrupted my plan... Even since my Macroeconomics 3 exam on 27/5/09, I never studied for the following 3 papers... I just do not have the 'mood' and heart to study... I even left earlier for an English paper... I just simply do the exam and never really checked my writtings... What makes me even more distressed is that I was not offered the placing in National University of Singapore... I had lost hope for my final semester result... 4.0 is beyond the reach...

As soon as I came back from Langkawi Island, I made an important decision... I made the call for a split... As I could not take it any longer... I had reached the maximum level of perserverence and patient... I opted for a way that I never wished that I will make... Ever since, I'd been struggling for my life... I just do not have the motivation and will to do anything... I was simply an useless person for the past week... Sleep, eat, watch drama, football and gaming, that's all I'd done for the past week... I just could not take her out of my head... I sms her regarding her internship and also the release of her exam result... I could sensed that she wish to talk and chat with me, but I intentionally gave her a cold shoulder... I know it is hard to take for both of us, but it is something that I must do... By doing so, I hope that it will settle once and for all... It's so suffering... I could not see the end of the struggle... It seems like a never-ending struggling... Lord, when it will end??

However, what'd done has been done... All I can do is to hold on with my decision, be firm and tough with the decision... I've made up my mind... I must recover and put the smiles back to my face again... Lord, I believe that I can make it with the help of Almighty...

Rewind (倒带)

2009-05-12T11:07:00.003+08:00

我受够了等待你所谓的安排
说的未来到底多久才来
总是要来不及才知道我可爱
我想依赖而你却都不在
应该开心的地带　你给的全是空白
一个人假日发呆　找不到人陪我看海
我在幸福的门外　却一直都进不来
你累积给的伤害　我是真的很难释怀终于
看开爱回不来　而你总是太晚明白
最后才把话说开　哭着求我留下来
终于看开爱回不来　我们面前太多阻碍
你的手却放不开　宁愿没出息求我别离开

你总是要我乖慢慢计划将来　我的眼泪却一直掉下来
过去怎么交代你该给的信赖　
被你亲手缓缓推入悬崖
从我脸上的苍白　看到记忆慢下来
过去甜蜜在倒带　只是感觉已经不在
而我对你的期待　被你一次次摔坏
已经碎成太多块　要怎么拼凑跟重来
终于看开爱回不来　而你总是太晚明白
最后才把话说开　哭着求我留下来
终于看开爱回不来　我们面前太多阻碍
你的手却放不开　宁愿没出息求我别离开

~ The End ~

This song, written by Jay Chou and sang by Jolin Chai, is best represent my current status... I went to karaoke the other day, just a day after return from the Langkawi trip... I was in a really bad and down mood earlier... Then, my fren opted for this song... and I was in great shock... however, i still sang the whole song coz it's one of my favourite song~~~ Nevertheless, I sang the song with full emotion~~~

The lyrics suit my current situation best, especially the waiting part... I'd been asked to wait and wait and wait... I persevered for 2 years but nothing happened... I can only planned for the future in my own most imaginative and creative way... The "future" seems like an unreaching scenario... When I am alone and longing for the companion of my love one, I found no one... When everyone is enjoying the companion of their love one, all I have is myself... Looking at other people holding hands, I can only jealous and imagine me holding the hands of my loved one... I stand at the outside of the gate of happiness, yet, the gate never opened for me... I just could not stand with the hurt anymore... All the hope I had before this are broken into pieces, impossible to be restored... I am lost... I cant find a way to start all over again... I opted for a decision that took a great courage for me to make... It is a tough decision... It is a decision that I never wanted to make, but it is necessarily for me to take...

Zhu, I am sorry~~

1st time being drunk..

2009-05-10T12:26:00.002+08:00

Frankly speaking... I'd never been drunk before... I am not saying I am a hard drinker... I just dont enjoy drinking... Thus, I always wonder how is the feeling of being drunk? I always wonder why people misbehave after being drunk.. Why people always get so high and emotional when drunk?

Finally, I had the opportunity of being drunk for the 1st time in my entire life... It happened in Langkawi Island... What makes it more significant is that it is my own will that I wanted to drink... Kinda magnificent isn't it?? It is my own request and will to drink liquor... On that night itself, about 15 of us were drinking beer and chivas+coke at the seaside... We were playing some games and also celebrated one of my friend's birthday... We were chatting and talking since this might be the last time we will be gathering after completing our undergraduate course... We were so enjoyed... We played till about 1.30am and almost finished all the beers and liquor...

However, there were 5 of us stay put after most people had left... We were cleaning up the mess and also the remaining beers... I think there were about 5 cans left... We kept on drinking, drinking and drinking~~ Finally the 5 cans were all finished... Then, we felt that it was still not enough... We then took another bottle of Chivas out... We drank again~~

All of us were so drunk~~ it is said that people who are depressed always get drunk easily... I totally agreed with the statement... I were kinda drunk that nite and even vomitted... Nevertheless, we were kinda crazy that night... We sang UM song, College song, and even did some stupid things like running while hugging someone... We were so noisy and crazy that night... Now I understand why people always do crazy stuffs when get drunk... I was just so high emotionally and cant control my behavior...

Nevertheless, this will be the one and only time that I get drunk... Sincerely speaking, I still dun like to drink liquor~~ haha... one time experience is enough already~~ :)

p.s: Patricia, Kant, WeWe and MeiLee, thanks for accompanying me for that night... Thanks for taking away my "1st time"~~ :)

爱情学分

2009-05-03T18:18:00.002+08:00

最近，

看着身边的朋友在爱情这条路上跌跌撞撞。

爱情，

这门学分有这么难修吗？

为什么不能 1+1=2 这样简单。

爱情，

总是给了人们太多的想象，

人们期待爱情会有一个完美的结局，

但是，什么结局才是完美的结局呢？

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

《爱情故事一》

她和他的开始没有爱情的感觉，只是他觉得她是一个很特别女孩。

她和他的开始没有恋爱开始的一般甜蜜，

她和他也没有所谓的心动的感觉，

她和他拥有的只是对对方的信任。

可是，朋友和情人是两回事。

她常因他的大男人和疏忽而发脾气，

他也因她的霸道承受了很大的压力。

最近，

他跟另一个女孩有暧昧，

她的心被伤了，流了很多眼泪……

她才发现她深深地爱着男孩。

但是，

她跟他还有一个未完成的约定，

如果这个约定可以将她和他的爱情挽回，就继续走下去。

如不，就结束了。

但是，上天并没有兼顾她。

隔天，她发现自己可能患上一个随时失去自己的生命的病症。

在这种情况，他只能在尝试在这段感情付出。

毕竟，他有可能照顾她的日子也不长了……

你说，故事的结局将会是什么……

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

《爱情故事二》

他是男孩和女孩之间的第三者，

只因他的莽撞就介入了男孩和女孩之间。

他不知道男孩的一切，

男孩却知道他的一切。

男孩不断的伤害女孩却不肯放手。

他只能为女孩心疼，

他不能做什么，因为他只是一个闯入者。

他只有疯狂地为女孩付出一切。

他知道男孩和女孩分手的消息后。

他以为他会开心，

但是，

他只感觉到内疚……

到底他是对还是错的……

到底他们还该不该继续……

他不知道，

或者爱情从来都没有道理可言，

他总是找可以接受的理由来安慰自己。

男孩和女孩到现在还是在一起，

他和女孩还是在一起，

就这样三个人就纠缠了一年多。

分分合合，是是非非……

在这个爱情里，

三个人都在痛苦挣扎着，

谁都不是赢家……
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

爱情中没有对错，没有先来后到，只有爱或不爱。

在爱情的世界里，没有输赢的，只有爱与不爱。

爱就要爱得痛快，不爱就忘得干脆，

真正的爱，

不会太在乎自己的自尊。

真正的爱，

就该让爱的人得到自己真正的幸福。

同情与爱并不相等，让人同情自己，

只会更加受伤更加难受。

爱情是一场赌博，但爱情不是战争。

爱不是用来牵制对方，也不是用来打败对方的。

爱情里谁又是胜利者，谁又是失败者呢？

爱了就投入地去爱一场，

谁又会说爱得深，爱得多的就是输家呢？

爱得真实，爱得彻底，

在生命中得到了真爱，

有多少人一生都没有遇到自己的真爱。

爱了就爱了，

体验了，幸福了

伤了，痛了，

不要为自己的付出而后悔。

Adopted from http://babymoon2310.blog.friendster.com/

祝我生日快乐

2009-01-28T22:44:00.002+08:00

我知道伤心不能改变什么那么
让我诚实一点诚实
难免有不能控制的宣泄
只有关上了门不必理谁
一个人坐在空荡包厢里面
手机让它休息一夜
难想切歌切掉回忆的画面眼泪不能流过十二点
生日快乐我对自己说
蜡烛点了寂寞亮了
生日快乐泪也溶了
我要谢谢你给的你拿走的一切
还爱你带一点恨
还要时间才能平衡
热恋伤痕画面重生
祝我生日快乐

happy birthday to me...
It's been a norm even since I was born. My family does not fancy to celebrate birthday for any family member. I'm get used to it. It's been 23 years. But, I do not know why, this year birthday, I have a very strange and weird feeling. I feel so upset and disappointed. My heart just feel so "sour"... I'm not saying that I didn't celebrate. Instead my friends had celebrated for me in advance. Somehow, deep in my heart, I feel very uneasy. I do know why... Then, this song, <> by Landy just pop up from nowhere. I turned on my windows player and played the song. As the song played, my heart getting more uneasy. I do not know what I'm writting now either. I'm so confused and down now.
Anyway, happy birthday to me... :)

Malam Kebudayaan Cina (MKC) - 1

2009-01-11T14:14:00.004+08:00

Malam Kebudayaan Cina a.k.a MKC, is a very important project/activity in my residential college (7th RC, UM). This is a much awaited program for most of the chinese students in UM. Its pedigree and reputation has been shown through out the pass few years where I can very much declare that it was one of the most successful organized activity in the whole UM.

MKC is an annual program which will be held around January/February every academic year. This year, the program is scheduled to be held around February. Despite being an inaugural and prestigious program, but, I'm very sorry to say that my own juniors did not even know the importance of the program. I'm saying this from the deepest feeling of my heart, as a senior and also an individual which enjoyed an unforgettable experience in my 1st year. The program is organized wholly by the 1st year students, and under the guidance from the seniors. But even till now, I can't see the eagerness and excitement shown by the juniors towards to this program. I'm very DISAPPOINTED with this. I could still remember that when I was in my 1st year around this time, every single individual of my badge were busying with all kinds of practices and bureau works. But I could see none of these things happen among the juniors this year. What had actually happened? Can anyone please tell me the answer? Aint the juniors feel nervous nor worried to see that they had did basically nothing about the MKC? I can frankly tell that they had only done 10% of what they need to do to successfully organize the MKC. If my dear juniors thought that MKC is just another program which can be done "cincai-ly" or just equal with the freshies nite that they had done, then they must face the truth that, their freshies nite was nowhere near 50% of the MKC standard. My heart is really broken, with a bang, into countless of pieces...

I purposely stayed at the college yesterday as I thought that they might well be doing some bureau works or practice for the performance, but I was WRONG. I did not see anything that they had done in the whole morning and afternoon. I intentionally sitting at the Intellecture Square (IS), hoping to help out for anything they wanted to do. But, to my GREAT disappointment, I could not even see them did anything, not the bureau works nor the practices. I was really such a dummy, planning greatly to help the juniors whom DO NOT even worry for themselves. I could still remember that none of us had gone back home or even went to shopping on any weekend during our preparation for the program. NONE of us had ever dreamt of doing so either. We were just focusing in the MKC alone. Our practice time was basically from every 8pm onwards till 3-4am daily (excluding for the drum team). We hardly slept for more than 4hrs daily. We gotta wake up at 8am for classes, attend the class and do all sorts of homeworks, tutorials and assignments. Then, when the clock ticked at 8pm, all of us will automatically go to meetings and briefing, and then we'll start practicing or doing our bureau works. We were so united then, and I really enjoy and love this kind of feelings. I really missed those experience, eating and sleeping together, drawing and painting banners and back-drop together, making door gifts, and even sleep in dewan makan (canteen) together. Those were really great experience and really did unite us and created an unbreakable bond among us. However, sad to say that, I really doubt that this year's juniors will be able to experience the kind of experience we had. I really feel for them. sigh~~

The time is short, MKC is just around corner. My dear juniors, please heed my advice and start doing what you need to do. I am really worried about this year's MKC. Please start to take it seriously. I will always be by your side and support you all. I will accompany you all to practice and even help out your bureau works. Promised!!!

MKC, Hoseh! MKC, Hoseh! MKC, Hoseh, Hoseh, Hoseh!!!

Sense of Secure..

2008-12-22T12:46:00.003+08:00

What is sense of secure to us? How would we define sense of secure? Who should provide the sense of secure and who should be the one receiving? I have a set of answers which might not be recognized by all. Anyhow, I just wish to share with my fellow friends.

A lot of my friends think that i'm a childish and playful person. I seems like not being serious enough in most of the time. And some even comment that I can't provide the sense of secure to them. But is it the real character of mine? I only can tell that the perception is incorrect. That's not the real me. The playful side of me is only a part of me. Friends who are close with me will agree with my point. Only those who are close enough with me will know my real character. My philosophy is "Play Hard, Work Smart". Therefore, whenever I'm in the mood of playing, I'll be 100% committed, and of coz, vice versa when I'm in the mood of working. I think that we need not to be 100% serious all the time. We are human, we need to find an equilibrium in our state of mind. We can't just keep ourselves under pressure for most of the time.

A chinese proverb says that "Great Wisdom is like being absurd". I'm totally agreed with the proverb. We need not to show to people how much talent we have, nor we need to concern about what others perceive about us. Sometimes, a person who acts as being naive doesn't means that the person is really naive. My frens, what are your comment about it?

10 promises to my Dogs

2008-12-12T13:06:00.005+08:00

I watched a Japanese movie recently which caught my eyes. The movie is about a dog name "Socks", and its owner. The movie is very touching and i like the movie so much. It reminds me of my 2 lovely doggies. Thus, I'd listed out the 10 promises that the movie emphasized so much about how we should treat our dog. The following is the list of promises:

1.) Give me time to understand what you want of me.

2.) Place your trust in me. It’s crucial to my well-being.

3.) Be aware that however you treat me, I’ll never forget about it.

4.) Before you scold me for being lazy, ask yourself if something might be bothering me

5.) Talk to me sometimes. Even if I don’t understand your words, I do understand your voice when it’s speaking to me.

6.) Remember before you hit me, I have teeth that could hurt you, but that I choose not to bite you.

7.) Take care of me when I get old.

8.) You have your work, your entertainment, and your friends. I have only you.

9.) My life is likely to last 10 to 15years. Any separation from you will be painful for me.

10.) Go with me on difficult journeys. Everything is easier for me if you are there. Remember I love you...

My dear friends who own doggies, hope that my little message will provide some food for thought to you, and start treat your dogs with love and care.

My favourite song of all..

2008-12-02T15:39:00.001+08:00

My frens… This is my favourite song of all..
hope u enjoy it..

軌跡

怎麼隱藏我的悲傷﹐失去你的地方。
你的髮香散的匆忙﹐我已經跟不上。
閉上眼睛還能看見你離去的痕跡。
在月光下一直找尋那想念的身影。
如果說分手是苦痛的起點﹐
那在終點之前我願意再愛一遍。
想要對你說的不敢說的愛﹐
會不會有人明白

* 我會發着呆,然後忘記你﹐接着緊緊閉上眼。
想着那一天會有人代替你﹐讓我不再想念你。
我會發着呆﹐然後微微笑﹐接着緊緊閉上眼。
又想了一遍你溫柔的臉﹐在我忘記之前。
心裡的眼淚﹐模糊了視線﹐我已快看不見。

Hope u LUV tis song… *.~

Never Ending Love

2008-12-02T15:36:00.000+08:00

Love, is a promise. It’s an eternal one and everlasting.

Love, is trust. We must trusted and trust each other.

Love, is patient. Tolerate is the key to close relationship.

Love, is grace. It’s the best gift that God has ever graced us.

Love, is not jealousy. Envy will only bring forth self destruction.

Love, is a vow. One which we must keep at all cost.

Love, has no ending. It’s last forever and ever till the end of the world.

Love, is a true feeling. It will not fade at any cost and will only grow deeper.

Love, is a covenant. It’s like the covenant of rainbow between God and human.

Love, is truthful. We must not betray our beloved one.

Love, is caring. Care the one u love more than anything on the world.

Love, is gentle. Anger will bring along agony and bitterness.

Love, is unconditional. Unconditional love is the highest degree of love - AGAPE LOVE

My dear friends, i wish to dedicate this passage to all of u, hoping to remind u the very basic of love. May u all able to find your true love someday.

God

Loves

U...

Declaring War on Cigarattes !!

2008-12-02T15:35:00.000+08:00

I had enough!! I’d been living in a scrutinized world where the values of the world had been twisted! Yes, I’m talking to you people, you smokers! I had enough!

I’m writting this blog hoping to make you guys aware and understand how hatred i am to you people! You people must not aware how you make people around you suffered! As a person who had been affected directly from smoking, i really hate cigarattes!! You people are making the person around you to suffer involuntary. I’m the living example.
My father is a heavy smoker. Even before i was born, he already been a heavy smoker. The only image that he gave me is that he smokes non-stop, from dawn to dust. As a result, he’s been the most hatred figure of mine. As he walks pass anywhere, the "aroma" of cigarattes just follows him to everywhere. The odour is just so digusting!! And i always cover my nose whenever he starts smoking around me.

I just don’t understand why the smokers keep on smoking. They are just paying to buy sufferings. They seems like do not understand the harm that cigarettes will bring about to them. What i’m meaning here is not only damages caused psyhically, but something deeper than that. Just for example, my relationship with my dad ruined and messed up because of smoking. A lot of people complaining about the petrol price hike and the soaring of food prices. The most talked about topic is how to save petrol and save money. But ironically, among all the ideas and ways discussed, no one would suggest to reduce the smoking habit. Ridiculous right?
Hopefully, my fellow friends who read this article would be inspired by my sharing. The least i wish to achieve is that my fellow friends will have some food for thought and really see this matter seriously. By doing so, it is my dream that the world will become smoke-less one day..

" World without smoke;Making the world a better place to live "

Anime, Childhood, Happiness

2008-11-26T15:26:00.002+08:00

Phew~~ Finally, my exams had finished, assignments had been submitted, projects had been concluded, and now... I can enjoy my holiday!!! Hooray~~~

1st of all, I had not been updating my blog recently due to the enormous pressure of exam. Sounds like not so nice.. hehe.. But, since I'm enjoying my holiday now, at least for the coming 1 & 1/2 months, I can update my blog more frequently. Well, so far, it's the 2nd week into my holiday, and I spent the whole week watching an anime series, <>. It's my most favourite anime of all time and it brought back a lot of my childhood memories.

I could still remember that when I was still a kiddo, I was so keen and interested in watching anime. And it is also around this period of year end holiday which I had been waited fo whole year. Erm... I still remembered that when I was still a kid, my family's financial status has not been doing so great, and yet, I do not really understand that situation. Therefore, I always manja with my mom to rent anime for me to watch. I could still remember the anime that I manja with my mom was entitled <> (sorry, it's a direct translation because I really do not know about the English title of the anime. Hehe..) Despite the poor financial status of my family, my mom, who is so love me, still willing to rent the anime for me. I could still remember that I would start waiting in front of the video shop early in the morning every time when there's a new episode arrived. I would be "competing" with lots of other kids of my age for the new episode. When I got the new episode, I would be so so so excited even though the excitement would last around 1hr only (because the show's duration is only 1hr per tape). Well, I guess that's what we called the "childhood excitement", simple wish but effective to make a kid to fell happy. I guess, every kid is same like me. No doubt about that. How much I wish that I could maintain that kind of childhood happiness, less worries, less stress, less problems, less competitions, and more smilling faces. I hope that my dear friends could recall back the day when we would feel happy for 1 whole day by just getting a pack of chocolate. My friends, feel content and appreciate the things around us. God bless you~~

P.S. Mom, I love you. :)

Finals Coming!

2008-10-22T23:18:00.004+08:00

Finally, I'd finished the last class of the semester (with the exclusion of co-curriculum ) today. I'm so happy now. But, on the other hand, I feel kinda sad about it. The feeling has been mixed and irony. On one hand, I'm glad that the class finished. But, it means that this semester is almost over. I'll only have another semester left. I just could not describe the mixed feeling now. I think most of the near-graduating seniors would understand what I was talking. I used to have a person who was so closed to me that I can share everything and talk everything to. But, now the person is gone. I suddenly started to miss this person again.

I feel much relaxed as the classes are finished. But on the other hand, finals is coming~~~ Headache... Nonetheless, I have to start doing my revision now and also to prepare to do my last assignment which I presented today. The presentation was ok. Not really a good presentation which impressed my lecturer. But, it's a learning process which I learnt things that never experienced before. The high standard set by my lecturer improved my standard and knowledge drastically. Thank you, Dr. Edmund. :)

I'll start doing my revision tomorrow (23/10/2008), I promised!!! Aza-aza Fighting!!

P.S. there's a high possibility that there'll be a fire drill practice in my college today... The operation should start at 2am later... Haiz... Cant sleep again...

Presentation

2008-10-22T10:57:00.004+08:00

Phew... Finally, after 2 weeks of scrutinized preparation, I'd finished preparing the presentation of my research in the ethnicity paper. The question is about generational change of the descendents of migrants correspond with identity transformation in Malaysia and U.S. Even though it's just a piece of academic essay, but due to the high expectation from my lecturer, it's like writing a thesis!!! Nonetheless, I still enjoy doing the research because it helped me to gain more knowledge as I'm "forced" to read a lot of materials...

Well, when I was doing this research, an idea come across my thoughts. I was thinking whether should I write a thesis in my final semester. The current accumulation of my credit hours is sufficient for me to graduate even not producing a thesis, but I think otherwise. I feel like there's something missing in my undergraduate life if I do not produce a thesis of my own. But, I must consider the papers that I'll be thinking for my final semester. All the papers that I'll be taking are "Killer Papers" which drag the CGPA of most of the students. Erm... I must really take a serious consideration about it...

This semester is a bit different with my previous semesters. It's a bit compact. Time seems like not enough for me to study and do my revision. The finals is coming soon, my first paper would be on 8th Nov, but I'd not even start doing my revision yet. I still have a last assignment which I must complete. Maybe it's due to the high expectation of myself as well as from the lecturers on the quality of academic essay plus the personnal problems that I faced earlier. Maybe these issues took me some time to solve before I can really focus in preparing for my finals...

Well, I gotta prepare for class now. My class is at 12pm later and my presentation would be at 3pm later today. Wish me the best of luck lar.. :)

P.s. I couldn't sleep well again... My "beloved neighbour" who stay a floor beneath me caused me lots of troubles. They kept on creating noises even though it's late at night... It's so suffering for not having enough rest... :'(

Stil cant let go...

2008-10-14T19:14:00.002+08:00

Today, I met with X... This is perhaps the 1st meet up in the recent 3 weeks. And, sad to say... I still cant let go of X... The feeling is still there... I'm still very much concerned and in love in X... I would think back all the sweet memories we had, as well as the bad moments...

I'd never think that I would be meeting X today as I never planned to do so... But, maybe it's God's arrangement that we met up... I was supposingly doing my assignment in the library during that hour... But, the library was closed due to the celebration of Raya Feast among the staffs... It was closed from 12.30pm - 2.00pm... Thus, I went to other place to study... When it's approaching 1.20pm, X walked pass in front of me, just straight in front of me, unexpectedly... She smiled at me, but I was not able to give any response because I was focusing in reading... But, soon after X disappear in front of my eye-sight, my focus swayed away from the book... I was thinking of X again!!! and, I was expecting X's msg!!! Suprisingly, X texted me and asked me for a lunch... But, of coz I rejected the invitation because I'd taken my lunch... Plus, I dun think I'm ready and prepared to meet up with X and behave like a normal friend... And I would like to apologize to X, if X is reading my blog, for being a bit lack of manners...

Our text conversation was short... It's only a few messages... She told me that she cant return home in the coming 1 & 1/2 months because of the finals and the replacement classes during the study break... I'm glad to hear that, because X can finally be independent and grown up... She can now justify what's important and what's best to her... I thought of the previous semester when we were studying together in the library and preparing for the finals... The memories are still there... And, it'll never be taken away nor diminish... It's like just happened yesterday... Despite all that good memories, I don't think that I'll be able to study with X again... I still can't overcome it... If I get too close with X, the feeling of love would appear again, and in the end, both parties suffer... I don't want that to happen again...

I told X about my plan to further my studies abroad... I still can't confirm with it as I need to consider many aspects... But I must admit that I'm really taking a serious consideration about the options available for me after graduated... And, another major factor for me to take such an initiative is that, I hope to forget all the bad things in Malaysia... I hope that I would be able to find a new leaf in a new environment... I can honestly share with my friends: I've lost my faith in relationship... I don't know when only I'll be able to overcome it, but I know it'll take time... I'm afraid of being hurt again by love... I realize that "Love's so Hurt"... But, is it really the way love should be? I doubt that...

I still cant get rid of X... Maybe, it's still not the time... O Lord, I'm sorry... I failed the test... I don't know what to do... Please grant me strenght and wisdom to walk my future path... Lord, send me your holy spirit to lead me and guide me... Thank you, Lord...

p.s.: I think I get food poisoned again... My stomach has not been feeling well since afternoon, and I just vomitted the lunch I took... I'm very suffering now... Can't eat and can't digest food... :'(

家好月圆

2008-10-13T10:31:00.003+08:00

I just finished watching this exciting and nice drama, 家好月圆, not long ago. Am I a little bit outdated? Haha... I found out that this drama is interesting because I could see some link between the drama and me. And also, something that I aspired for most of my life, but are also the dream that never fulfilled for me.

When I watch this drama, the thing that impressed me the most was the togetherness of the "Gam" family. I love to watch their JoBao play with them. I love to watch the children playing among each other. Even though they had undergone lots of tests and trials, but they never lost the family value. Although JoBao did something wrong in the pass, but he's brave enough to admit his fault and rectify the mistakes. And, what catches my eyes was when he said that even though he and HorMa divorced for 10years, but the children are still his kids. The blood-ties could not be cheated and separated. Unfortunately, people who my history knows that I don't have a good father. I jealous "Gam" family. I love to have JoBao as my father. And I also love to be part of the "Gam" family.

The second thing that caught my attention was the triadic relationship among GuanJiaZai, YuShuChiew and Dr. Ling. The situation is so familiar. I do not know I'm in which position, but what I've learnt from the drama is ---- never involve in any triadic relationship. No matter under what circumstances, triadic relationship is damaging to ALL parties. And the situation like the ending of the drama rarely occurs. I'm not saying that it'll not have good ending, but the probability is so low that it is too risky to try. I'm a living example. I regretted to involve in a triadic relationship. It hurts ALL parties. Well, go back to the topic of 家好月圆, there were many scenes and dialouges that were so familiar. These are very much the deepest thought from the bottom of my heart. That's why, I'm so attracted to this drama because it's like reflecting my story.

Lastly, I would like to wish my friends 家好月圆 and also being able to find your destined partner. I always believe that family ties and love are the 2 best gifts and presents from God. Hope that my friends will cherish the greatest gifts. God Bless~~

Friend or no friend?

2008-10-07T00:55:00.002+08:00

It's 12.55am, and i'm still awake. I just had a shower after came back from futsal. And my mood is very down and depressed now. Once again, I'm thinking of X again. I'd told myself to let go, but it's a really painful and suffering transition. So, I'd decided to write this blog. I do not know whether X will read my blog or not, but, it does not matter anymore. It's the feeling of my heart which I think I should write it down and share with my friends. I hope that this blog will provide some food for thought to my beloved friends.

Just not too long ago, I shared with a close friend of mine. And we talked about this issue of whether we can befriend with our partner after break up. My instant reaction was a "Yes". I thought that why should we be so cruel to our ex-partner even though we could not be together. I believe that we could still be our friend even though we could not be together. However, my friend's answer was the opposite of mine. I could not agree with him by then. And I just could not understand his reasons.

But now, after I experienced the situation myself, I can finally understand why my friend said so. Now I realized that it is not a decision of choice. It's not whether we want to befriend with our ex, but it's a matter of whether we can befriend with our ex. Why whould I said so? I have to keep myself distant from X. Because when I'm close to X, I just cant let go. I could not stop myself from concerning about X. I could not stop myself thinking of X. I could not stop thinking of reaching X and hold X's hand again. I just could not stop myself. In order to stop all these and not to give fake hope to each other again, I choose to distant myself from X. I do not mind even it is a ultra-normal friendship, but, I just do not want to hurt each other again.

My friend who knew my situation recently asked me about the details of my split. But I did not share with them. Because I do not want to reveal the things and afraid that some unexpected side effects would occured. I had a bad experiece, and I do not want it to happen again. My friend might said that I'm overprotecting X, keeping all the sufferings myself. But, it does not matters anymore. I know what I'm doing. I would rather choose to hurt myself than hurting X.

If, I'm given another chance, whether would I choose to start it again in the beginning, I would choose "Yes". Because I treasured the good and sweet memories we had together more than the bitterness. I opted to keep the good things in my heart. Instead of hating X for all the bad things, I choose not to do so. Because I know that to hate a person is a painful matter. However, if I'm asked whether would I be together with X again in the future, I would say "No". Because I dare not to trust in X again. I'm afraid that I would be hurt again in the future. I prefer to keep the good impression I have about X now rather than spoiling it by choosing to be together again in the future. I would not do so.

And I realize something which is true. "The person beside us is normally not the person we love most". And "Love is not about getting the equal share of the effort we'd put in". I believe it is true. Love has never been fair. Being committed does not guaranteed success in the love. I experienced it myself. I meant what I'm saying.

X, I always give you suprises and small gifts to cheer you up. And now, I'm giving you the final "suprise" and "gift", by choosing to let go completely. I pray that you'll be able to find someone who is way better than me and worthy to your love. All the best in everything you do. May God bless every path you'll take in the future.

CC Trip

2008-09-29T21:25:00.009+08:00

29/09/08, 1.30pm, finally, the long waited CC trip (UM 7th Residential College Chinese Community) has finally came to an end...

The latest CC trip had brought about tonnes of memories and emotional thoughts to me. Suddenly, i realized that i'm already in my 3rd year, the final year of my undergrad in UM. I'm currently in the position of my 3rd year seniors when i first entered UM. I was then, a nobody within the campus, knowing nothing, staring at the seniors and think that they are full of wisdom and experiences, way better-equipped than me. I was wondering how long would it take for me to match their status. Now, as time flies like an arrow (i'm really seriously meaning it), i'm already in my seniors position. Whether am I as good as they are, it is much subject to debate, but certainly, I'm now a better person than I was. I'd experienced lots of memories. And one of the most treasured memories is the CC trip.

When I was in my 1st year, my role was to take part, participate and enjoy the trip. But I do not know anything. I did not know what CC trip is, what's available for me, the activities that was prepared and etc. And above all, I was still not quite close with my seniors. I was just merely knew them, and the interactions was kinda distanced. But, once the CC trip started, I left all the obstacles behind, and aimed at enjoying the trip only. I could still remembered my group members in d trip, all the station games I played, the performance my group made and etc. But what I enjoyed most in the trip was the dancing part (tuan kang). I just love the parts. And even until now, I could still remember all the songs and some of the moves. At that time, we even played until 4am, just for dancing. It was so much fun by then. I cherished all my memories and experience.

And, when I moved into 2nd year, my role changed. I was no longer the participants, instead, being an organizer. I took up the role of deputy director and had plenty of works to do. The experience of being a 1st year and 2nd year are totally different. I could still remember my works during my 2nd CC trip. I was basically the driver, driving up and down hill to deliver all the meals to the participants. I hardly involved in any activities. And the 2nd task that i remembered most is the water boiling task. We had no choice but to boil the water using water heaters. And we just kept on boiling waters till no end. It was tough and tiring, and we even sleep in the canteen, side-by-side with the water heaters. However, there was one moment that I can truly enjoyed the trip was the dancing part (tuan kang). We were the learner in our 1st year, but when we were in 2nd year, we were the teacher. We had to create the moves and teach the participants. Even though it was tiring, but once the dancing part started, I was full of energy and started to play. I really enjoyed it. For me, the most interesting part of CC trip is the dancing.

And now, I just finished my 3rd year CC trip. Honestly speaking, the recent CC trip is the most organized and interesting trip. The concept of using RPG is magnificent, and the make-ups and decoration were great. But, one thing that was missing, is the dancing part. This year, my 2nd year juniors decided to cut down the dancing part, restricting it into just 3 songs. But, it's not any mistakes or wrong. It's just merely a change of style. However, when we, the 3rd year and the 4th year were given a special slot to dance, and showing to the juniors our dances and moves, we were so thrilled and excited. And then, we stand in the middle of a big circle of juniors and started our moves. And when I looked into their position, it reminds me of my 1st year. The memories just floured in. And then, during the live band slot, we danced even more. The atmosphere was terrifying and marvelous! I just love it. And, on the last day of the trip, we sang the CC song. I seldom cried, even though I felt touched. But on that day, I just felt like crying. It was so hard to control my tear drops, although I somehow managed to control it. But I must say that the song really brought back a lot of memories to me, from my 1st day entered into UM, and until now. All the little details and things that I went through, especially with my badge of 7th CC members. All the projects, activities and crazy stuffs. And, when I suddenly realized, it was already almost reaching the finishing point. And from now on, I must even cherish my days in campus more!

Lastly, I must say "WELL DONE" to my 2nd year juniors who organized such a magnificent and successful CC trip. Keep the spirit up and pass on the spirit to the juniors.

And to my fellow 3rd year and 4th year, thanks for everything that we undergone together. Those memories will never be removed from my heart.

I LOVE YOU ALL!

"Pendatang" or Citizen !?

2008-09-07T22:18:00.004+08:00

The hottest debated current issue is about a remark made by one of the political party leader in Penang, Mr. A. The issue is about the origin of Malaysian Chinese (a term I would replace with "Chinese Malaysian") and also the "pendatang" claim.

I'm really disappointed with the statement made by this "respected" leader and also the consequence actions made by him after being criticized for this remark. What makes me even more disappointed is his refusal to apology. The reason he gave was that the statement was made when he talked about the pre-independence period, the British Colonization Period. What he was referring at that point of time was that the Chinese were brought by British into Malaya Land and that the unequal treatment provided by the British towards the Chinese widen the gap between the Chinese and Bumiputeras. In the end of the day, the Chinese was controlling the huge piece of economic cake in the country and that the Chinese are "unwilling" to share with the Bumiputeras. Because of this refusal of Chinese, the 513 Incident occurred. And the only solution for the problem is the Affirmative Action, or better known as New Economic Policy (NEP).

For me, this is even more nonsense. I suppose that this leader should have aware that the current situation is that the Citizen Of Malaysia is no longer wanting for NEP and any other race-based policy. What the people want now is equal share of social-economic welfare, regardless of ethnicity, religion, and class. The people has shown their choice in the 308 General Election. If this leader is really aware of this, I think it was a BIG mistake for him to make such a claim to woo voters during the Permatang Pauh By-Election. Making such claims and statements will only intensify the difference and misunderstanding between the people and the Coalition and also, most importantly, the people of these two ethinicities.

Another reason of arguing to his point is that the "willingness" of Chinese to share the economic pie equally with the Bumiputeras. Let me point out this point, that is how many out of the top-ten Public-Listed Company in the BSKL is owned by the Chinese? Less than 5!! And, how can he made such a claim that the Chinese are not willing to share and cooperate? If the Chinese are really unwilling to share, would the Chinese cooperate with the NEP for more than 30years? The opportunity given to the Bumiputera during the implementation of NEP for the pass 30years had even surpassed the opportunity given to the Chinse during the pre-Indenpendece period. Is it still not enough? The problem is not that the Chinese are not willing to share, but the implementation of the policy was failed considerably due to the management and implement of policies. As I had said in my earlier post, we are now the 3rd, 4th or even 5th generation since our forefathers migrated to Malaysia. We share the country and love the country as much as any other citizen of Malaysia do.

The only place I would call home is Malaysia and not China!
Therefore, I hope that this leader would follow the example of our Deputy Prime Minister to apologize to the people who felt hurt by the claim. It might not only be referring to single ethnicity, but also to other minority ethnicies. Hope that Mr. A would really make the wise move and may God bless him.

Communication in Relationship

2008-09-06T00:26:00.002+08:00

I just had a dinner with my ex-roommate and his gf. We had our dinner in BBQ Plaza, 1-Utama. While we were walking to the restaurant, my ex-roommate was holding his gf's hand. I'd seen this type of scenario many times, but still, everything i see it, my heart will be soured. I'm not being jealous or envy or complaining to my fellow friends, but just something flash through my mind whenever i see this scenario: holding hands. I sometimes just couldn't stop myself from thinking the relationship problem i'm having now. Why cant I just have a normal relationship just like my friends around me? Why I always face so many problems? Is the problem with me? If it is really so, please tell me. I really wish to know.

I recalled an old saying "the key of a good relationship is communication". And I'm absolutely agree with it. I used to have a very very close friend, X. We talked a lot of stuffs and we never hide our problems and emotions from each other. I thought this kind of relation and trust would persist for a long time. But I was WRONG. We dun talk everything and anything to each other. Whenever we face problems, X and I would just keep quiet. We don't bother to tell each other how we feel and our opinions on the issue. We had since then be guessing on each other thoughts. We don't really communicate anymore. I'm so upset to see us turning into such situation.

X, i just want to tell you that: when we were still sharing with each other about our problems, no matter what problem it was, we could still help each other. Communication is the only way to develop trust in a relationship. No matter how tough the problem was, we faced it together, lending hand to each other , encouraged each other, supporting each other. But it was no longer be seen now. I'm really disappointed now. We do not talk to each other any longer. I afraid that, if this situation persist, the gap between us will be wider. If we do not talk to each other about our problems again, we might well be reaching a point where we really do not talking to each other. I'd seen many relationships turned sour because of not talking to each other. It's just like my situation and my father. And I don't hope that we'll reach that point where we treat each other as invisible.

Communication, key to develope trust.

Aftermath of mid-semester test

2008-09-04T22:02:00.002+08:00

I had a mid semester test today. Today's paper is Microeconomics 3, not a tough course, and yet, my careless mistakes proved to be costly. It was 2 careless mistakes that shouldn't had happened, but, ironically, i did it. Well, I think I would be doing moderate in this time around.

I went to a meeting today and we talked about the cc-trip (cc means Chinese Community of 7th Residential College of UM). It was just another ordinary meeting, but there was something that captured my attention. I heard that quite a number of my badge college-mates are not joining the trip. I was quite upset by their decisions. Recalling back my experience as the organizer of the trip a year ago, it was a tough one. I could still remember the major problem that i faced last year was that the lack of participants. Me and my commitee members were scratching our heads to attract the participants for the trip. And what happens now make me feel even more upset. I'm upset because my badge of college-mates had forgotten the hardship they had endured, how they overcame it, how they complaint and how they suffered because of it. I'm really upset. Now, as the senior, or better to be known as ex-officio, the best i could contribute to the current commitee is to try persuade my fellow college mates to join the trip. I just hope that they can put down all the negative thoughts, either it's on the 2nd year's style of organizing, the contents of the trip or any other possibilities. Just give it a try and feel the trip. I believe that this feeling and experience would be very different with ours as 1st year and 2nd year students.

The utmost important of the trip is to folster the unity and ties among us, I mean the whole 7th CC in this context. It's a great platform for us to kow more about our juniors. If this is not the time, when will it be? This perhaps is the final year of us being an undergraduate. Grab the opportunity and not to waste it. :)

Farewell to My Roommate

2008-09-01T14:47:00.002+08:00

Today, my roommate of 1 year and 3 months will be moving out. He had graduated from the course and finished his term as UM student council. Finally, the time has arrived and he will be moving out today.

Supposingly he had to move out 3 months ago, but he still became my roommate this semester due to his responsibility in the student council. Now thinking back our time as roommate, it was really enjoyable and nice. I can never asked for a better roommate. We chat and share a lot, and our roommate talk topic is quite different to others. We often talk about issues, politics and even our problems. Frankly speaking, I am really gratitude to have him as my roommate. I learnt a lot from him, and he helped me a lot in guiding me.

But, he would still need to move out today. There is a chinese proverb says:" There will never be a banquet that never ends." My dear roommate, wish you all the best in your career. May God bless you and your family.

Thank you Bryant!

Merdeka Spirit!

2008-08-31T14:46:00.000+08:00

"Merdeka, Merdeka, Merdeka!!!"

It was 51years since the famous slogan was shouted. Since then, the slogan was shouted at the every morning of 31st August. Even when the students finished their exam, the students will repeat this slogan as well. :)

I'm prompted to write this blog on this memorable day. I'm proud to proclaim that i'm a truly Malaysian. I'm so proud of my national identity as Malaysia is a very unique place. The development of Malaysia since Independence has been remarkable. The socio-economic has developed, the living standard has increased, the literacy rate has increased and etc. It is very much down to the unity that we had for the pass 50years.

However, despite all these facts, i would like to say that we shall not be too proud of the development. The development MUST not stop at here. The recent politics development within our country has shown that the people had changed. The people do not want any race-based politics anymore. The policy might be relevant in the post-independence development, but not now. The scenario has changed since 51 years ago. The continuity of race-based policy will only be damaging to the people of this lovely country. What I would like to say at here is that the the concept of "generational" change. I just use myself as the example, I'm the 3rd generation of Chinese migrant. But I do not consider myself has any link to China anymore. To me, Malaysia is my ancestral land, not China. Honestly, I do not have any link with China, and I never went to China before. After half a century of mixing together, the heirs of Malay, Chinese, Indian and other minorities had been sharing the same education & mixing with other cultures. The gap between the race is no longer as wide as before. Therefore, race-based policy will only widen the gap again, which is damaging to the nation.

Multi-racial policy is the one that the people of the nation need.
I wont consider myself as a Malaysia Chinese, but rather a Chinese Malaysia.
I'm here wishing every citizen of Malaysia, Happy Merdeka!

Hello My Friends :)

2008-08-31T13:04:00.000+08:00

Hello!

Finally i had created my own blogspot to share my views and stories with my friends. I had always wanted to have a blogspot, but due to lack of time to manage my blogs, i couldn't had one for the pass 2 years. But it's different now as i have more time and initiatives to manage my blogs. Hope that it has never been to late :) Oh ya~~ I'll try to be a good boy. I'll try to update my blogs as often as possible. Hope that you'll enjoy my blogs. have a nice day :)

Best regards,

- SepH -